Life of fashion, culture and adventure

One night, it was so tight, so irritating and so painful... My heart that is... I don't seem to understand why does it seem to have a need to feel sad and disappointed... Then I decided to admit that I am... But I had a hard time determining the why... or is it the which? I guess when you have too much emotions put on something, it's either you get too sensitive or too numb.. and I believe I'm a little of both... But to which of which, that I cannot yet answer... But my dilemma remains, how do I get myself to feel better? When I was younger, this more often than not, works... To cry so d*** hard 'til it hurts to breathe and the chest pain is too hard to describe.. Then you'll stop the crying, the pain will start to ease very slowly 'til there's no more...  And so I tried this one more time... I cried, and cried and cried 'til it hurts so bad... Then I looked at the mirror for consolation... I did cry again, for no particular reason, but confusions ...

And so it fell... And then comes the sobbing, the sneezing but the pain didn't stop... I cried yet again because of anger and pity.... I lost another dear one... I lost her because I failed to be a good caretaker... I hate myself for being so relaxed and forgetful... I've been wanting to give her the meds, but forget to buy one every time... I wasn't able to visit her as often as before... I was careless... And I blamed myself for losing her... And now, I missed her... I missed my Kiki... She was a brave friend... And an intelligent one to add... But she's gone... I'll never gonna see her again... But I wanna tell her, I'M SORRY... That's the only thing left to say... I'm forever grateful to her for the laughters we share... and forever be sorry for my shortcomings and for the things I missed... Goodbye Kiki... I hope I can make it up to you somehow... I loved you...